It's Wednesday at 8:30pm. Just like any other evening at this time, everything is the same, except for one thing.
Tomorrow, at this time, Maverick, my Heart Dog, will no longer be alive. The vet, Dr. Burmeister from Livingston Animal Hospital in Grimsby, Ontario, is coming at 8pm for a home-based euthanasia. In less than 24 hours, the one constant in my life over the last 13 years will be gone. It's such a surreal feeling. Everything will be the same yet completely different.
Tonight he's sleeping...doped up on pain meds to keep his neurological symptoms at bay.
Granted, I do realize, the magnitude of my feelings are exemplified as this is the first time I am going through this. Maverick is my first dog. Add to that, he's my Heart Dog. Add to that, I have never truly experienced this type of grief before. Compounded, the result is numbing, heart-draining, and utterly gut wrenching.
Yet, my logical mind keeps reminding me "This is life. This is normal". Then the emotional side chips in "How can something so normal hurt so much?". I consider the pain simply a reflection of my feelings for Maverick. My one true furry bundle of love. For that, I am grateful.
I have heard many times from those grieving a loved one "I would do anything for one more day". I can now wholly relate to that. Just one more day, even one more hour to have Maverick healthy again, would be my number one wish (if only genie’s really did exist!).
I have also heard that when life gets tough, it’s better to ride the rough waters, than resist them. Struggling against things out of our control is a surefire recipe for stress.
With that, I kiss Maverick’s sleeping head grateful to still feel the warmth of his body. Then, I do the same for Marti, my other wonderful sheltie, and vow to be more present and appreciative of every healthy day she and I have left together.
How did you prepare to say goodbye to your Heart Dog? Please feel free to share your insights and tidbits of advice on dealing with this difficult circumstance.
How can this blog help you?
This website and blog originated from the experience of learning to let go of my beloved Heart Dog, Maverick. By sharing my story and offering the opportunity for you to share yours, I hope we can all truly celebrate their lives. pay tribute, and heal from the loss of our one true canine companion. I hope this website will also raise awareness of the meaning of a Heart Dog because it is a concept that is not largely understood.